I have been working on the DDY message. This is something that I had written in my design brief... tweeked a little since its changed since then. I think the wording will definatly need help, what do you guys think?
you might want to say, "not deleting an unappealing picture of yourself on your camera is a way you can overcome your insecurities" or "not deleting an unappealing picture of oneself on a camera is a way one can overcome his or her insecurities.." something like that, just because using "you/your" and "one/their" in the same sentence isn't exactly right.
i really, really love this, though!! i think it provides an excellent explanation for "don't delete yourself."
This does really provide a great description of "don't delete yourself" I like how it talks about how it is so easy to do something that contributes to the diminishing of a persons self-esteem, and confidence. As for the wording I do think that it needs a little tweaking, but my writing skills are not the great, maybe in class we can discuss what works and doesn't. But so far it looks good.
I love this jess!
ReplyDeleteyou might want to say, "not deleting an unappealing picture of yourself on your camera is a way you can overcome your insecurities" or "not deleting an unappealing picture of oneself on a camera is a way one can overcome his or her insecurities.." something like that, just because using "you/your" and "one/their" in the same sentence isn't exactly right.
i really, really love this, though!! i think it provides an excellent explanation for "don't delete yourself."
This does really provide a great description of "don't delete yourself" I like how it talks about how it is so easy to do something that contributes to the diminishing of a persons self-esteem, and confidence. As for the wording I do think that it needs a little tweaking, but my writing skills are not the great, maybe in class we can discuss what works and doesn't. But so far it looks good.
ReplyDeleteI like seeing this! I wish this was first, but we will talk about it in class on Tuesday!
ReplyDelete